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6 Triggers Narcissists Use to Manipulate and Control You
Narcissist Blog > Blog > Narcissism > Narcissistic Tactics > 6 Triggers Narcissists Use to Manipulate and Control You
Narcissistic Tactics

6 Triggers Narcissists Use to Manipulate and Control You

Zeeshan Chughtai
Last updated: 2022/03/23 at 10:42 AM
Zeeshan Chughtai
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10 Min Read

Narcissistic abuse can be hard to spot, especially when you’re in the middle of it. Narcissistic abusers are very manipulative and cunning. They are also excellent at using certain words and behaviors to manipulate their victims. These triggers are designed to make their victims fall back into their pattern of abuse. In this story, I will look at six different triggers that a narcissist will use on you.

Contents
1. The Appeal Trigger — Appealing to your sympathies2 . The Selfish Trigger — Focusing on what you can do for them3. The Fear Trigger — Causing you to feel afraid4. The Guilt Trigger — Causing you to feel guilty5. The Denial Trigger — Making you deny the truth6. The Bargain Trigger — Using emotional manipulation to bargain with youConclusion

1. The Appeal Trigger — Appealing to your sympathies

Narcissists love to play the victim. They love to play on your sympathy. They love to play up their helplessness and play down their ability to manage and take care of things for themselves. The appeal trigger is all about making you feel sorry for the narcissist.

A narcissist will play the victim by playing up their weaknesses, playing down their abilities, and appealing to your sympathy. They may act like they are helpless and like nothing they do matters.

They may act like you are the only person who can make them happy. They may act like you are the only person who can take care of them. They may act like you are the only person who can help them.

They may act like you are the only person who can solve their problems. They may act like you are the only person who can bail them out. They may act like you are the only person who can understand them. They may act like you are the only person who can stick up for them.

Narcissists may act like you are the only person who can save them. They may act like you are the only person who can help them. They may act like they are the only person who can make you happy.

2 . The Selfish Trigger — Focusing on what you can do for them

One of the most common triggers that a narcissist will use to control you is focusing on what you can do for them. This is a subtle form of manipulation that narcissists will use to make you feel like they are doing you a favor by spending time with you.

It is important to understand that narcissists are all about themselves, so you shouldn’t be surprised that they will focus on how you can benefit them.

When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will often find that they will want to do things they want to do and not what you want to do.

Narcissists will often use excuses for not having time to do anything together because they are overwhelmed with work or other obligations. The narcissist will convince you that they love you, but they will not be there for you when you have a problem and need help.

3. The Fear Trigger — Causing you to feel afraid

The fear trigger — Causing you to feel afraid. The fear trigger is the most commonly used of the six different narcissist triggers because it is the easiest to achieve and because it is the one that gives the most immediate result.

The narcissist will often use threats and intimidation to instill fear in you. This is because most people are more motivated by fear than anything else. A narcissist will often use your fear of losing them or being alone to keep you in line.

The fear trigger can even be used to make you feel guilty about things that you haven’t even done. Your right to have a life of your own is usually the first thing to go once you get into a relationship with a narcissist.

The narcissist will start to control you and isolate you until you can no longer make your own decisions. This is often referred to as the “narcissistic bubble” — the narcissist will get you so far inside the bubble that you can’t escape, and you feel like you can’t escape.

4. The Guilt Trigger — Causing you to feel guilty

Narcissists are masters at making you feel guilty. It is something that they have been doing since their childhood. If a narcissist were a child, they would throw a tantrum, and then their parent(s) would feel guilty and give in to what they want.

This is a prevalent form of abuse and is used in a variety of different ways by narcissists. There are many ways that a narcissist can make you feel guilty. The most common way is to make you feel guilty for expressing any emotion (anger or sadness). This is a very common thing for narcissists because it is a way to control you.

Once you feel guilty for expressing yourself, the narcissist can manipulate you into doing what they want. There are many different ways that a narcissist can make you feel guilty.

This is because narcissists are very good at knowing what to say to make you feel guilty. As you may already know, narcissists are very manipulative, and they like to play mind games. They will try to find your weaknesses and use them against you.

5. The Denial Trigger — Making you deny the truth

People being controlled by a narcissist often deny fear, shame, and hurt. You might wonder why you don’t just leave or confront the narcissist.

The narcissist is aware of the triggers that will cause you to deny the truth, and they will use these triggers to keep you under their control. The denial trigger can be used in many ways.

The narcissist might tell you that you’re too sensitive or that you’re overreacting. They may say that it’s all in your head or that you’re being too emotional. At first, you will probably believe them, and this will cause you to deny the truth.

You might start to believe that you’re crazy or that you imagined the whole incident. You might even begin to blame yourself for what happened. You might think that it’s all your fault and that you deserve to be treated this way.

6. The Bargain Trigger — Using emotional manipulation to bargain with you

When the narcissist is in a bargain trigger, they will attempt to bargain with you to win your affection. The narcissist may do this by offering something special for you or making a special request.

They want something in return, but what they want isn’t in line with the effort they put in. In this case, the amount of effort put in is often disproportionate to the value of what they receive in return. The narcissist may not even expect you to do something in return; they are just trying to make you feel guilty for not doing what they wanted.

They feel that it is perfectly reasonable for you to do what they want without receiving anything in return. They may think that you owe them something or that you should have done something for them without receiving anything in return.

In the narcissist’s mind, this is perfectly reasonable and fair. If you do not respond to the bargain trigger and give in to their demands, they will get angry.

Conclusion

The most important thing is to realize that you don’t owe anyone anything. You are your person, and you are responsible for yourself. You are not responsible for what someone else does, how someone else feels or behaves.

Narcissists are masters of emotional manipulation. They want to make you feel as if you owe them something, don’t let them.

Narcissists use triggers to control you; if you are in a relationship with a narcissist or have a narcissist parent figure, note these triggers, and don’t let them control your life.

Join my Narcissist Hunter Newsletter to get daily guidelines on surviving a Narcissist.

TAGGED: Narcissism, Narcissistic tactics, Relationships
Zeeshan Chughtai February 9, 2022
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By Zeeshan Chughtai
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Psychologist and life coach. A featured writer on Medium and Newsbreak.
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