Narcissists live in a world of their own, and that can make it difficult for them to get along with other people. They’re self-centered and only focused on what’s best for them.
This can lead to conflict with friends, family members, co-workers, and romantic partners. How do you go about living with a narcissist?
It is important to keep in mind that Narcissism is an escalator. Some individuals may exhibit excessive narcissistic traits or exhibit narcissistic behaviors often.
In other instances, individuals might suffer from a condition called narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) that can manifest more extreme behavior.
This article explains the challenges of living with someone who often exhibits narcissistic behavior, what their behavior could impact you, and what it is possible to do to look out for your well-being.
Signs That You Are Living with the Narcissist
Everyone is self-centered or is focused on their needs to some extent. However, narcissists indulge in self-centered behavior to a more extreme degree. It can be difficult, painful, and harmful to individuals who reside with them.
To confront a narcissist, the first step is to spot the indicators that indicate you may live with such a person. Some questions you might ask yourself:
- Do they have a lack of empathy? People suffering from narcissism tend to be so focused on their own lives that they cannot connect with others.
- Do they pride themselves? Narcissists have over-inflated self-esteem and are focused on their worthiness. They frequently exaggerate their achievements and significance, usually to disguise themselves as insecure and have low self-esteem.
- Are they without apology? Narcissists have no respect for the feelings and requirements of other people. They will not apologize for hurting anyone unless it helps them by some means.
- Do they react too strongly to criticism? Narcissists will lash out at even the tiniest criticism. Instead of accepting responsibility for their errors and failings, they blame others.
- Do they have manipulative tendencies? If you live with a narcissistic personality, you may feel as if you are misled, deceived, or mistreated. It is often apparent that they are willing to do and say anything to obtain what they want and what they believe they deserve.
If you think your partner is a Narcissist, I wrote a story read here more clearly.
Tips to Live with a Narcissist
Living with a narcissist could be stressful and exhausting. It is often difficult to feel at ease at home and could harm your mental wellbeing.
The ability to manage your emotions is essential. Knowing what drives narcissists and learning some essential coping strategies will help you manage your relationship with your narcissist while maintaining your mental well-being.
1. Don’t Be a Victim of their behavior
Be aware that the person you’re living with could suffer from the disorder of Narcissism (NPD). The experts aren’t sure about the root cause of NPD; however, it is frequently associated with factors like the genetics of the disorder and trauma in childhood, childhood abuse, and personality and upbringing.
They cannot modify their behavior independently and may not recognize an issue. The people who suffer from NPD require help from a professional, but they rarely look for it. You could recommend that they see a therapist, but they’ll likely be resistant or behave to the treatment negatively.
The issue is that even when you realize narcissistic behaviors like the lack of respect and manipulation don’t necessarily concern the person you are, these actions can be viewed as a personal attack. Remember that it’s not personal.
There is no reason to be blamed for the actions of others, and you didn’t contribute to their actions. You can help them seek assistance, but you’re not accountable for helping them or correcting their mistakes.
2. Establish (and Enforce) Boundaries
When you’re dealing with someone who is a Narcissist, the top thing that could be done is to establish firm boundaries. These are the boundaries you are willing and unwilling to tolerate in relationships. They are non-negotiable boundaries that inform others of acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
If you live with a narcissist, as an instance, you could declare that you’re not going to tolerate behavior like name-calling or rudeness when talking to one another. If they are involved in the same manner, the conversation will end.
Setting boundaries isn’t about trying to alter the behavior of another. Instead, the boundaries will clarify that specific behavior cannot be tolerated. When you have set boundaries, it’s essential to follow the boundaries. If someone else violates your boundaries, you must immediately take the punishment.
Do not make rash threats or issue ultimatums that aren’t followed through with. Inability to enforce your boundaries implies that the person you are dealing with will not take it seriously.
If you follow through with your plan, you will make them much more inclined to be believed your words when you next declare that you’re not going to accept any behavior.
3. Watch out for Gaslighting
If you’re living with a narcissist, then you might have witnessed a behavior called gaslighting. Individuals engaged in this kind of deceit deny the reality of their lives in a manner that causes them to be skeptical of themselves and their experiences.
- They may be lying or claim that they are just laughing and that you’re being over-sensitive.
- They could make you doubt your faith by claiming that you aren’t sure what occurred, claiming that you are in the wrong place, or reacting too fast.
- In other instances, the person could completely deny the actions they’ve committed or stated.
It’s not easy to deal with gaslighting, especially when it’s your word against the other person’s. One method to deal with it is to record incidents that have occurred in writing them down, keeping documents on paper that confirm your observations, or asking others to watch any conversations you have with the person you are talking to.
If someone does attempt to sway you, be evident that you know exactly what you’re doing, and you will not tolerate it (again setting an area of separation).
4. Boost Your Self-Esteem
Narcissist people tend to undermine others to build their self-esteem. This can be especially harmful in the case of one who constantly tries to bring down you in subtle and indiscreet ways.
One way to ensure that you’ve got the mental power to face the Narcissist in your life is to ensure your self-esteem remains strong even in the face of obstacles.
Keeping your self-esteem at a high level, even if someone tries to subvert and manipulate your self-esteem, will allow you to manage their more socially destructive behavior more efficiently. If you have low self-esteem, there are ways to boost it.
Suppose you’re in some relationship with a narcissist, whether a roommate, family member or romantic partner. In that case, it’s very important to maintain positive relationships with other kind and caring people.
Being a victim of a narcissist’s deviant and even violent behaviors can become exhausting. The presence of other people to meet to discuss the issues you’re dealing with could help you gain emotional support and perspective.
Notably, having people who know what you’re experiencing can help you in times of need. Make sure you have positive relationships with others who are open to each other. It is essential to feel that they are people with you who can share your true self and respect you for what you are.
6. When to say Bye
If being with a narcissist has caused stress that leaves you unable to be a normal person, you must think about getting rid of the relationship, removing the situation, or requesting them to go.
Toxic relationships can have a severe negative impact on your mental wellbeing. If the relationship is becoming abusive or risky, it is crucial to seek assistance.
Being a victim of a narcissist’s behavior can be a significant strain on your mental wellbeing. Talking with a therapist may aid you in understanding your experiences.
Living with a narcissist is not an easy task. . It is exhausting and stressful, but there are some ways to keep yourself strong and mentally fit.
Be aware that you aren’t the cause of the issue, and don’t take the actions of others as a personal attack. Establish firm boundaries, protect your self-esteem, and establish healthy relationships with those who understand what you’re experiencing.
Remember that you don’t have to wait until a relationship becomes negative for it to be ended. In many cases, getting out of the relationship is the most effective option to ensure your mental wellbeing.