What is Self-Betrayal and How Does it Look Like?

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Fahim Chughtai

Self-betrayal is the self-sabotage that we all do in some areas of our life, whether it’s relationships or money. And there are two types:

  1. An old wound or deeply ingrained belief that has become a negative core belief that sabotages us from achieving our potential and,
  2. A pattern of behavior that you have learned, which may not be serving you anymore — but you continue to repeat it because it’s familiar, comfortable and keeps your identity intact.

Self-betrayal is a term used by Nathaniel Branden to describe self-delusion, having an unrealistic view of reality. This cognitive distortion can be found in many aspects of a person’s life such as morality, emotions, and goals. Self-betrayal is closely related to self-righteousness and victim mentality.

Self-betrayal is a coping mechanism. We learn this conditioning when we’re raised in homes where we have to deny our needs (or our needs aren’t considered) to receive love.

When we betray ourselves, we feel resentment. People generally feel fear of others’ disapproval — society, family, bullies, or just understandable fear of being different and alone.

What is Self-Betrayal and How Does it Look Like?
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Table of Contents

Self-betrayal can look like this:

  • Denying your own needs or wants to be chosen by others.
  • Allowing your boundaries to be violated.
  • Seeking a job because someone you love views it as “successful” if it no longer aligns.
  • Enabling a person to do something that harms both of you, not to be abandoned.
  • Adopting the beliefs of others or engaging in “group think” to feel acceptance.

I called it Self Sabotaging. It was like I was subconsciously choosing to sabotage my self worth for the self-worth of others. A terrible cycle of abuse of oneself. It took many years to recognize and then break the habit. It came from a desperate need to be loved and acknowledged. I realized that I had looked to others to fulfil this need and truly just needed to recognize and love myself.

It is anything but difficult to live in self-betrayal to who you can genuinely be. Countless individuals are doing that, unconscious that they have taken on another person’s life, day by day propensities, attitude, clothing standard, values, mission, objectives, vision, viewpoint, and whole life.

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It is a disgrace that individuals simply surrender to the existence that they have discovered. Also, they find out it is a great test to break out of that life, as it is simpler to deal with another person’s fantasy than it is to seek after your own.

Yet, facing no challenges concerning what you need to do with your life will bring certain disappointment and disillusionment inside yourself a couple of years down the line.

It appears like individuals like to stay sleeping to their significance and not assume full liability and control of their life. The visually impaired are following the visually impaired into what? A daily existence of disappointment, dissatisfaction, average quality, weakness, and a daily routine of experiencing dread, too hesitant even to consider facing their feelings of trepidation and break out of the meek zone.

Fight for your goals, don’t merely keep on after the group, break out of the unremarkable daily schedule, and work on your objectives every day to make your fantasies a reality.

You can, in any case, pursue your dreams; it isn’t past the point where it is possible to begin, it is never past the point where it is possible to be what you may have been, trust in yourself and venture out another course to a more remarkable life, and continue constructing your optimal life by making a move, the move is the thing that makes you from day to day existence of self-betrayal to the everyday routine that you need to experience.

Would you like to stay in the existence that you are in now for the remainder of your life?

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Is this from you? Is it true that you are never going to attempt to perceive what you are fit for accomplishing? Be a quitter, don’t make a move, and resemble the sheep, stuck to their TV sets with an obsession with diversion as opposed to self-instruction and activity.

Dream, accept and make a move. You can make whatever you want your life to resemble. Self-betrayal is the self-sabotage that we all do in some areas of our life, whether it’s relationships or money.

You have the ability to shape your life; you may not see that for yourself at present, as individuals’ discernments on what is conceivable is needy upon what stage you are at of enlivening.

Yet, once the psyche becomes mindful, you won’t agree to the everyday existence of weakness.

You can do it, continue pushing forward and make your fantasies a reality. You are naturally introduced to significance, don’t only surrender to another person’s life.

It’s an ideal opportunity to step it up to another level and get it going.

Last words

Self-betrayal means to deny any of your needs and suppress your feelings in the name of fitting in. It is a destructive way of living because it will eventually lead to feeling unhappy, resentful, and lonely. It is important that you learn to recognize when you are engaging in self-betrayal and stop doing it. You can tell how you’re doing by evaluating how many times there were no feelings associated with things that previously used to cause anger or sadness.

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Self-betrayal is a very dangerous thing and can be disguised in different ways. It can be an ongoing process or it may appear like a one-time action. The important thing is to understand the signs of self-betrayal, so you don’t fall victim to it and damage your life further. If you are concerned about this issue, please tell me more in our comments section below!


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